Sources of stress and sources of joy

I’ve come to understand in black and white that there are sources of stress or stressors and sources of joy or joy makers.

And this basic.  As basic as h2o.  Giggle.

Everyone experiences stress, the problem is when the stress becomes chronic.  That’s a Tara Brachism.   Ive decided that if the stressor is not congenital it needs to be eliminated. Sooner than later.  To often I wait and hope for it to go away or change hoping for the outcome of my choice.  It’s like I absolutely refuse to accept the reality of the situation.  I can only think that’s because we’ve been raised on fairy tales ….they make us feel good and soothe us.  But they aren’t true and I need to resist that trap.

Recently J Lo was quoted as saying something to this effect “as women even if something makes us uncomfortable we go along w it anyway”  J Lo goes onto say that she’s not going to do that anymore.

That completely resonates w me – I’ve done it but what’s more disturbing to me is that in the past often times I would completely disregard my intuition……only to find out later I was right.  The thing about intuition, at least for me, is that its really a gift……it takes into account things I’ve seen, heard or learned and might have forgotten about and delivers them back to me as definite known knowledge but as an intangible source.  It’s just known to be true.

Back to chronic stressors, it’s easier said than done to get rid of these stressors …..because we are attached to them – for whatever reason.  The best way for me to eliminated them is to first identify if it’s chronic and why it’s chronic and then determine what can I do to make it less bothersome.  In the last year I’ve eliminated 3 chronic stressors and the result is that I am much more peaceful.  I just got fed up with them…..and they all made noise ….calling me names – shaming me – ostracizing me – ridculing me.

Let them do that to someone else cause Im done.   And what I’ve observed is that – how they behaved towards me is not personal, it’s just how they are……they are fucked up and that’s it.  My therapist says everyone is exactly where they should be and they are….that would be wo me.  And so their loss…..cause god knows it’s not my job to put up w them.  Giggle

Yes, I’m giggling now – but first I had to cry stomp and bargain……and for months until I could finally rid myself of the need to be right, to win and to keep them in my life.   I’m a collector I guess… therapist said certain people are only meant to be in our lives for a short time.  Short timers……another new word.  Giggle.


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